Fearing Uncertainty

There are times where I wonder what it would be like to be a dog, living a carefree life. A life where the only decisions I would have to make would deal with with chasing squirrels and digging holes in the yard.

July is quickly creeping closer, which for me is both exciting and extremely nerve-racking.

It feels as though the summer just started, and yet we are already one month closer to it being over! Following this summer I will be starting my senior year of high school. The realization that I will already be a senior is one that has not fully hit me yet. Soon I will be doing something that has been on my mind for years, applying to college.

While I cannot wait to begin my college experience, I could do without the fear, anxiety, and uncertainty that comes with the application process. Not a day goes by where I don't think about where I will be off too next fall. As I sit here and type I can feel my heart start to race a little bit more. I've always had the mentality that you can outwork anybody, but with college admissions it's not that simple.

No matter how hard I've worked and how well I've done, a college may decide that I do not fit the profile that they are looking for. Understanding that everything is out of my control once my application is sent, is terrifying. As the months progress I start to feel more uncertain. All I can think about is if I've done enough. I've taken every opportunity that has been presented to me and I've even created my own. I'm so proud of everything I've accomplished over the years, but it does not make this process any easier.

I'm learning to look at uncertainty as an opportunity. Facing uncertainty is allowing me to evaluate what I have done in the past and what I want to do in the future. As I write my college applications and resumes I've been able to look back at the things that I'm really proud of and I've been able to determine some new things that I would like to try in college and in the future. While there are times having the easygoing life of a dog seems appealing, I am excited to see where I end up in the future, both in terms of college, and in the rest of my life.